“When I noticed myself instinctively ducking around hallucinations
that I knew weren’t there,
I made the conscious choice to stop being controlled by my mind’s imaginings.
It was incredibly liberating to “see” the obstructions in front of me
and choose to walk right into them, and through them.”
Recently I spent 10 days in a dark room retreat. That’s 10 days and 11 nights in a cave like room with zero light. Totally pitch black.
There was one experience that occurred in the dark that was particularly profound and which provided a powerful and unshakeable insight into the nature of the unstable self image we have created of ourselves in our minds and which is a complete illusion.
The first 4 days in the dark I experienced some basic mind generated visuals such as geometric patterns and colors much like what you might “see” if you close your eyes and press your fingers against your eyelids. You can generate all manner of patterns, colors and lights. This was interesting and mildly entertaining. I had heard that with such an absence of light there could be hallucinations of varying degrees.
However, that all changed after 4 days of relative darkness. The evening of day four I had a powerful spiritual breakthrough that was precipitated by me finally “breaking down” and starting a very honest, vulnerable and surrendered conversation with Source.
I call that Source, God. A word that was so repellent to me in my youth in it’s traditional sense, and yet today represents an embodied and deeply cherished knowing of One Loving Awareness and Consciousness.
So, there I was, four days in the dark. Just me and God and not much was happening. Where was the big experience, the big opening, the big wave of Ahh-ha awakenings? Well, it turns out that when it’s just you and God sitting in the dark together, someone has to start the conversation and it typically isn’t God. I was waiting for something big and not really participating. [Read more…]