Why do I meditate and how might meditation benefit you?
The primary reason I meditate is because before my meditation practice I was mostly an uncertain and struggling childlike mess of a man lost in my own mind. A good a man? Yes. A kind and loving man? Yes. A smart and creative man? Yes. But considerably confused and fragmented as to who I was and how I fit in the world and suffering from a debilitating lack of self worth.
I meditate with the discipline that I do today to avail myself again and again and again to the eternal and liberated experience of life and Self beyond transient thoughts. To realize the steady truth to the universal question, Who Am I, Really?
One day it radically landed for me that to try to navigate to the truth of life and Self through the interpretations of a mind that is constantly making shit up and then re-making it up in a different way the next moment, is total insanity. This was my suffering.
The mind’s predominant way of knowing the world is through thoughts and through beliefs which are constructed of thoughts.
I began to ask the deep inquiry, “What is the true nature of Self, independent of thought?” I could use the mind to point to an emptiness/everything-ness beyond, and prior to, mind.
Making decisions solely with this wildly imaginative story making mind, that has proven itself over and over again to be quite adept at making up all manner of irrational sh*t, is not a satisfying way to navigate life.
This is the same mind that once believed that I had to be perfect to be worthy of love.
This is the same mind that once believed that I could find love that would be free of heartbreak.
This is the same mind that once believed that if I made all the right choices, I could live a life free of difficulty.
Basically I no longer rely on my thoughts and beliefs outright. They are secondary, at best, to guide me in my “knowing” of life.