CONFIDENCE

CONFIDENCE

CONFIDENCE

Developing self confidence with the aim of stabilizing our inner sense of peace, is a flawed strategy.

A more powerful and enduring endeavor is to focus our attention on self realization – discovering the Truth of who we really are.

A byproduct of realizing our true infinite nature is confidence.

While it is certainly healthy and helpful to believe in yourself, a deeper exploration reveals that the “self” in which one endeavors to believe doesn’t actually exist, except as a collection of thoughts and beliefs. Thoughts and beliefs are ephemeral, they come and go, they are transient.

What we’re really after isn’t actually confidence, it is TRUST. We are looking for something in which we can trust. Looking to the conditioned and mind constructed self as a stable place to put our trust is an inherently unstable strategy.

What we are looking for is an eternal truth into which we can surrender, let go and simply BE. This feeling of angst that spurs a search for confidence is the nagging feeling of our soul desiring to be free of the illusion of self and reunited with the truth of our eternal nature.

Self doubt is natural and healthy.

Typically the self that we are doubting is the story of self
that we’ve constructed in our own mind.

That constructed self very well should be doubted.

Awaken the true self that is beyond doubt.

To work on self confidence while neglecting the explorations into the true core nature of our being only prolongs our seeking. Go straight to what truly brings peace – Realizing your Truth.

What we find when we stop trying to bolster the illusion of self and we begin to inquire honestly into the true nature of who we really are, before all thought and all constructs of self, is not a “thing”. We find the pure, infinite and eternal “IS-ness” of the life force that breaths us all into existence. And there, we find a sweet and abiding trust.

When we surrender the illusion of a self that needs to control and manipulate the world to generate and maintain a feeling of self-confidence, we find a natural, infinite and unshakable TRUST.

Ultimately the invitation here is not to strengthen your belief in your story of self, but to know and embody the eternal truth of who you truly are beyond the illusion of self.

Within that knowing one discovers their already present, natural and unshakeable confidence and one gains access to a universe of possibilities.

This Mind is Not To Be Trusted

This Mind is Not To Be Trusted

Making decisions solely with this wildly imaginative story making mind, that has proven itself over and over again to be quite adept at making up all manner of irrational sh*t, is not a satisfying way to navigate life.

This is the same mind that once believed that I had to be perfect to be worthy of love.

This is the same mind that once believed that I could find love that would be free of heartbreak.

This is the same mind that once believed that if I made all the right choices, I could live a life free of difficulty.

Basically I no longer rely on my thoughts and beliefs outright. They are secondary, at best, to guide me in my “knowing” of life.

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Inviting Vulnerability

Inviting Vulnerability

Vulnerability is a hot topic these days. And well it should be. I’ve been speaking to the power of vulnerability with my clients for a long time. It is an absolute foundational core to building any trusting relationship, whether that be in business or in our personal lives.

I’m a strong advocate of creating environments where people feel safe to tell their stories. It is through the sharing of the nuances of our lives that we connect, bond and relate to others. Telling your story, and telling it true, requires a great degree of vulnerability.

Vulnerability is the other half of truth.
All too often the unspoken half that waits in the wings yearning for it’s moment in the light.
Without the opportunity to honestly express where and how we feel vulnerable, we’re only having half the conversation, which never really gets to the heart of the matter.

Recently Brené Brown showed up on Ted Talks with a brilliant talk about how vulnerability is a keystone to developing deeper connections with others. I was so glad to see the topic get such resounding support as people clearly resonated with the truth of her message.

Yes!  We’re coming to understand the power of being more vulnerable.  Fantastic.

Now, I want to speak about something that can often be even more difficult to pull off…..

Beyond being vulnerable ourselves
and accepting others when they’re vulnerable.
What’s really important is….

Inviting Vulnerability From Others.

Here’s what got me thinking about that and why it’s important.

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Setting a North Star Vision for Navigating Stormy Organizational Seas

As a leader,
one of your key roles is to help
transform confusing complexity
into elegant and powerful simplicity.

Arguably the most complex component of a leader’s world is the diverse mix of people they lead.

Organizational cultures can be a minefield of complex and intricate relationships. You already know how even a small handful of intimate relationships at home can be challenging to manage. At work, the complexity of relationship dynamics multiplies exponentially. Add to that the pressures of stress, speed, ego, career advancement, the ever shifting landscape of office politics, perceived status, financial security and working with people who you didn’t necessarily choose to have in your life – and you’ve got a pretty complex situation to manage.

 As a leader, you need to do everything you can to add clarity, inspiration, encouragement and well defined purpose to this wildly flavored soup of relationships and often conflicting goals.

Rewards – Seeking the simple solution first

So, yes, people are complicated. But we are also quite simple in that we typically do more of what we are rewarded for and do less of those things that yield no rewards or have negative consequences.

It is through this particular simplicity of human nature that a purposeful leader can realize their best leverage for shaping a stellar team.

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