STAY

Dec 16, 2013

Stay

Don’t turn away

Stay

in the fire that burns your already peeling skin

Stay

on the path crowded by brambles that tear at your old hide

Stay

in the flood that washes away all to which you cling

Stay

standing in the fierce wind that abrades the tiredness within

Stay

in the purifying element of pain

that a lifetime of turning away has denied you

Stay

in the death of illusion that has been lifetimes in arrival

Stay

and face the place within you

that begs for you to blame

that pleads to make others wrong

that is willing to deny love

that wants to retreat to an old version of self

that is already an ill-fitting skin

that wants to cling

to that which wants to be released

 

Stay

in the purification

that reveals hard truths

hidden

beneath the choice point

where you have always chosen to run

 

Stay

at the place where you want to turn away

at the crossroads

at the decision point

where your old habits want to

strike out

hide

run

sedate

deny

and end

the maddening uncertainty

 

And within this choice to

Stay

see what path reveals itself

that could not be witnessed

with your back turned in a full retreat

 

This new path cannot be viewed in its entirety

Only the first step visible

amidst the swirling cloud of old habits

 

The direction of the first step will be obvious

It will be the step that starts you

in the opposite direction from

where you’ve always run

 

Stay

Witness

Persist

 

In the place

where you want to wail

and then wail

where you want to cry out

and then cry out

where you want to scream at God

and then scream at God

where you want to die

and then let old ways die

 

Stay

in that which purifies

that which burns right through you

and exposes ancient hurt

to the light of enduring love

 

Did you think this was going to be easy?

Did you think that this life was going to simply pass

with only glancing blows?

 

Stay

in this uncertain and unstable moment

and let it shred

your fears

your small image of self

your small pride

your small narrative

 

Let the grit and swirling maelstrom of

this moment erode the prison walls

so that you can

once again

be free

 

To embrace a life of

shadow and light

pain and joy

peace and confusion

love and loss

 

Willing to

Stay

present

to it all.

 

~ Chess Edwards​

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